The other night I had a dream that I was leaving a high school at the same time as a couple hundred other people. I was thinking to myself that I shouldn’t be there. I’m nearly forty and surrounded by irritating high school students.

As this thought came up I said, “I’m surrounded by assholes.”

A woman next to me casually deadpanned, “Oh? Are you better than everyone else?”

“Nope. That’s the most depressing part.”

Well played, subconscious.